To ask or not to ask?
Asking questions.
This is one of my biggest fears you guys. When I was little, I've always been told to just figure things out for yourself. And then throughout school, I would see kids ask questions and get ridiculed and called stupid and be snickered at whenever they asked questions. So, asking questions started becoming something I fear.
So now that I'm an adult. Lol, I often struggle with the problem of asking a question and fighting my fear or just staying in my comfort zone and keeping my mouth closed.
So today for my 20 second of courage I actually dealt with two of my fears. Asking questions and I also have a fear of authority figures. Oh wait and texting. I have anxiety with texting too. So 3 of my fears in one? lol.
I also don't know my superior that well lol, and she's annoyed at me bc I tend to have a bad memory and am redudant. (In my defense, I just like to make sure...)
I had to ask my boss a question about an extra shift. She had come down and talked to me, but I couldn't remember if she had said when that extra shift would be. lol. And stupid me, I didn't think about it until I got home and it was well now 8 o'clock.
So remembering the 20 seconds of courage. I compiled the question. Read it a million times. And then put down the phone. Googled how to send text messages to your boss. Browsed some manga. 2o minutes later. I grit my teeth. Clicked the home button on my phone and clicked send. Lol, and then put my phone on do not disturb so I wouldn't hear when she replied.
I know. I'm still a coward. But I did it! lol, then I went to go shower, so that I wouldn't hear the vibration either. Then when I finished showering. I browsed the internet. Procrastinated some more. Lol.
I need help. Really.
So around 9:30, lol, I mustered up what had to be my last act of courage for the day to check, and alas she answered! lol, I'm willing to bet she was annoyed she had to bother about work while at home, but I'm glad I asked. Now, I can enjoy the next two days in less anxious peace. Lol.
So for today, my 20 seconds of courage, paid off.
I think.
And so the experiment shall continue tomorrow! I'm not gonna lie. There will probably be days where I'm unable to do it bc I'll be paralyzed by fear, but I'm going to try. And as humans, sometimes that's all you can ask.
This is one of my biggest fears you guys. When I was little, I've always been told to just figure things out for yourself. And then throughout school, I would see kids ask questions and get ridiculed and called stupid and be snickered at whenever they asked questions. So, asking questions started becoming something I fear.
So now that I'm an adult. Lol, I often struggle with the problem of asking a question and fighting my fear or just staying in my comfort zone and keeping my mouth closed.
So today for my 20 second of courage I actually dealt with two of my fears. Asking questions and I also have a fear of authority figures. Oh wait and texting. I have anxiety with texting too. So 3 of my fears in one? lol.
I also don't know my superior that well lol, and she's annoyed at me bc I tend to have a bad memory and am redudant. (In my defense, I just like to make sure...)
I had to ask my boss a question about an extra shift. She had come down and talked to me, but I couldn't remember if she had said when that extra shift would be. lol. And stupid me, I didn't think about it until I got home and it was well now 8 o'clock.
So remembering the 20 seconds of courage. I compiled the question. Read it a million times. And then put down the phone. Googled how to send text messages to your boss. Browsed some manga. 2o minutes later. I grit my teeth. Clicked the home button on my phone and clicked send. Lol, and then put my phone on do not disturb so I wouldn't hear when she replied.
I know. I'm still a coward. But I did it! lol, then I went to go shower, so that I wouldn't hear the vibration either. Then when I finished showering. I browsed the internet. Procrastinated some more. Lol.
I need help. Really.
So around 9:30, lol, I mustered up what had to be my last act of courage for the day to check, and alas she answered! lol, I'm willing to bet she was annoyed she had to bother about work while at home, but I'm glad I asked. Now, I can enjoy the next two days in less anxious peace. Lol.
So for today, my 20 seconds of courage, paid off.
I think.
And so the experiment shall continue tomorrow! I'm not gonna lie. There will probably be days where I'm unable to do it bc I'll be paralyzed by fear, but I'm going to try. And as humans, sometimes that's all you can ask.
Comments
Post a Comment